Week 2 – Banded

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Well, so much for all the positive thoughts on Monday when I last posted! I had an allergic reaction to the antibiotic and am now on Benedryl 24/7 for the rash.  That means no driving yet. My poor Mini Sylvie must be lonely in the garage by herself. 😉

The main area that is still red and itchy is the incisions.  So, I still take the meds and stay at home.  I find sitting at the computer feels OK until I get up – this chair must not be the best position for me yet.

I saw my surgeon for the first week check-up.  He is pleased with how I’m doing.  I’ve lost 17 pounds since the pre-op diet, with 6 of those being since surgery.  He took off the steri-strips and it is possible that my skin was reacting to them as well.  Oh well, if I scar I just won’t wear a bikini to the beach – oh wait, I wouldn’t wear a bikini to the beach anyway!

I moved to a pureed diet today, relying on the protein shakes only if I can’t get the protein in thru my meals.  I’ve been eating about 500-600 calories a day – but the nutritionist at the Bariatric Center said that is usual as my body heals.  Once the swelling goes down, I’ll be able to eat a bit more volume than I am now.  So I’m trying different veggies to puree, having canned fruit pureed, lots of water/fluids, and of course protein in the form of pureed chicken, pork tenderloin, scrambled eggs and tonight – tilapia!

I’m a little anxious to get some of the items on my “to do” list done – but without driving and not being able to sit for long periods on the computer – well, things will just have to wait I guess.

I am in a photography class this fall – Portraits, but since I am repeating it, it is not critical to get back to class immediately, but I want to.  I have to wait and see how the rash is tomorrow – if I have to take more Benedryl, then I can’t drive to class and will stay at home.  If the weather was a bit nicer, I would go outside and walk.  Maybe tomorrow?

You never know when you have surgery what “complications” will arise.  Plans just have to wait until all is well.

Meanwhile, God speaks and helps and encourages.  His healing is what I need – not just for my body, but my mind and heart when it comes to food.  I told myself that I could do the 4-6 weeks of limited diet after surgery, but was worried about the next two years and whether I would be able to use the Lap-Band as a tool to loose this weight.  He assures me that He will be with me on this journey and He will be my strength and help.  AMEN!

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Day 6 Post-Op

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Monday morning and rain, but I am feeling so much better! The UTI is under control and my intestines have calmed down. The pain is much less as well.
Yesterday, I did more of a pureed diet: scrambled eggs and pears for lunch, pork tenderloin and carrots for dinner. I felt full all day, but had very bad heartburn at night. Today I’ll stay on liquids and see if that helps.
I went down and up the stairs before my hubbie left for work. A bit of effort to come up but very doable, so I hope to do some photo editing today. That will be good for my mental health!
I must have been out of it last week as I didn’t record my appt with the surgeon on Wed. Oh well, that’s what the phone is for.
I didn’t make it to church which was disappointing. Getting ready in the morning takes so much time, plus I can’t yet wear my bra because of the lovely red rash I have, and my intestines were still a bit iffy. To bad church isn’t today or tomorrow as I could handle it now.
I’m hoping to find a break in the rain for a walk. It really does help and I’m tired of the house right now. Not driving yet, so I’m limited to my neighborhood I guess.
I’ve been avoiding the scale. I had gained weight while in the hospital, which I assume is gas and fluids. But even on about 500 calories a day, weight is not falling off. I know it is really way to early to see results, as my activity level is very low. I’m not hungry. I like the protein shakes. I add in jello, broth and my chocolate banana tofu pudding for variety and overall, find myself thinking if food very little, which surprises me.
Patience is what I need right now, as well as not over-planning my how-tos on life with a band- it is just too early to say how it will effect me.
I am eager to jump back into activities and life- but don’t yet have the energy to do so, which is probably for the best. My health cannot be strained right now- I have to heal!

Day 4 Post-Op

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Stiff and sore! The real reason they tell you to get up and walk is so you don’t freeze up. I woke up stiff and got out of bed with a headache and nausea. Slept a bit in the chair but feel about the same. Yesterday wasn’t too bad and I definitely sleep better at home, but I’m ready for the healing to begin!

Everyone tells me I have courage. Hmmm. I don’t feel particularly courageous. Yes, I’m making changes in my life. Yes, I’m dealing with bad habits and turning things around. I’m giving myself a tool that can help me with a healthier life. Courage? Not sure that’s the right word.

The surgery was on schedule Monday morning. I slept thru most if the day. I knew I was staying one night. I didn’t sleep well in the hospital- alarms kept going off.

Tuesday morning I was tired, sore and needing breathing treatments. I had nothing by mouth all of Monday and Tuesday morning, so I was thankful for that first sip if water. Tea, broth and jello rounded out my gourmet diet that day. Late afternoon it was clear that it was my call on staying another night. My doctor cleared me for pureed foods! I ordered three one ounce servings. I got down about one half ounce and felt full. Thirty minutes later when I could have water I realized the band worked! I felt full on less food! Yes!

I did get in several walks yesterday and went to the support group. Nice start to my new life and journey to axsize 12!

Day 12-Pre-Op Diet & Surgery Countdown: 2 Days

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I have only two days to go on the Pre-op diet. Whew! Sounds very doable. Endurance is a funny word. Do I have endurance? It turns out it depends on where I’m at on the journey I guess. So I would say I have slightly inconsistent endurance, which is an oxymoron!

Yesterday, my daughter came to spend a few hours to just “hang out.”. We got glasses adjusted, did a little shopping and stopped for coffee (rooibus tea for me.). It lifted my spirits and chased the doldrums away.

Thursday and Friday were hard. Today and tomorrow are doable. But I have stayed on the 1,000 calorie a day diet.

Prayer, worship, family and friends: what has gotten me through recent days and certainly going into the future.

Size 12 here I come!

Anger and Frustration

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It seems to be a difficult day so far. Day 10 of the Pre-Op diet. Last night I was grumpy and tired with a headache. I wanted to eat as if eating would take care of those problems. I did not give in to temptation. Then I went to bed cold. I woke up very early, cold. Turns out the temp dipped low last night and we were still set to A/C. This morning I’ve been groggy and cold. And now I feel deep in me a smoldering anger or frustration. I’m just not sure why!

I wonder if a low calorie, high protein diet effects my post-menopausal ability to warm my body? Maybe I’m just cold. And without caffeine. Maybe this is about caffeine withdrawal?

I think a bit of it is impatience. Will Monday and surgery and an end to this Pre-Op diet never come?

I guess there is more stress in me right now than I realized!

Venting helped. A little.

What did David do when he was frustrated with Saul? He vented to Gid. Then he listened. Then he worshipped the Most High. I will do as David did. Off to listen and worship now.

Day 9 – Pre-Op Diet

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I got my PB2 today.  Adding it to my protein shake makes a nice peanut butter/chocolate flavor.  Cause I’m getting bored of just plain chocolate and vanilla.  At GNC, they suggested adding cinnamon.  Now that also makes a nice change to the flavor!

It is a quiet day.  I think I’ll take a walk.  I have a bit of shopping to do later today and a therapy session on my relationship to food.  It’s complicated, that’s what I’m finding out.  It does no good to get a band and then still struggle with the same old food issues that have caused me to become obese.

Sometimes it seems like too much.  This is lot of weight to loose.  I’ve tried it before.  What makes me think it will be different this time?

A friend gave me this Bible verse: “For whatever was thus written in former days was written for our instruction, that by [our steadfast and patient] endurance and the encouragement [drawn] from the Scriptures we might hold fast to and cherish hope.” Romans 15:4 AMP

I need endurance and hope.  Both have to come from God.  That is my prayer for today, that the God-who-loves-me, Yahweh, will give me endurance for the race and hope for the finish!

Day 8- Pre-Op Diet

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I got my pre-op testing done yesterday, which delayed my protein drink. My mid-afternoon snack was not the most satisfying. My choice: to eat more or not. I waited 15 minutes and then chose baby carrots and hummus, a 50 calorie add-on that did satisfy. Then I misread the carb/serving size and ended up with extra calories for dinner. I came in about 200 calories too high for the day. I think, all in all, I made good choices in dealing with this: carrots and hummus- good choice. And then I didn’t beat myself up about the misread for dinner. Yeah for me!
Today I need to focus on feelings and eating: why do I eat mindlessly at times, what emotions trigger over eating, and what would Jesus give me to heal and change my eating issues. My relationship to food is complicated. It has developed for 60 years and for the majority of the time, resulted in weight gain.
Prayer, counseling and ministry are what I need today as well as meditating on what I’ve discovered so far.
This is my hard day, schedule-wise. I either have to eat dinner early or very late. I’m going to try an early dinner, saving a snack for after my meeting. I’m also off caffeine starting today. Should be a glorious day!